What is Self-Compassion?
Self-compassion means treating yourself with the same kindness, concern, and support you'd offer a good friend. For some of us, we offer more compassion to strangers than we do ourselves. It's a practice that can help us handle life's challenges with more grace and resilience. This post introduces a gentle 10-minute practice to help you develop more self-compassion and promote a healthier relationship with yourself.
Being kind to ourselves can be revolutionary in a world that often expects perfection and fosters self-criticism. Self-compassion is not about self-indulgence or ignoring our faults; it's about recognising our experiences, accepting our imperfections, being kind and understanding towards ourselves.
Self Compassion Practice
1. Set a Dedicated Time
Choose a quiet time of the day for yourself. This could be in the morning before your day starts, during a midday break, or in the evening as you wind down. Giving yourself permission to dedicate this time just for you.
2. Find a Comfortable Space
Sit or lie down in a comfortable position in a space where you feel safe and relaxed and where you won´t be disturbed. You might sit on a cushion, chair, or even outdoors.
3. Begin with Mindful Breathing
Spend the first two minutes focusing on your breath to help bring you into this present moment. Take deep, slow breaths, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. Let yourself be present, releasing any distractions or worries. Again, give yourself permission to just focus on yourself right now. The to-do list or the worries can wait for 10 minutes.
4. Practice a Loving-Kindness Meditation
For the next three minutes, silently repeat phrases of loving-kindness towards yourself. Use phrases like:
May I be happy
May I be safe
May I be healthy
May I live with ease
Here is a three-minute guided meditation:
Loving-kindness meditation can help you in several significant ways. It helps reduce negative emotions, and it fosters self-acceptance by encouraging a non-judgmental view of yourself, making it easier to accept your flaws and imperfections (we all have them). The meditation not only benefits your relationship with yourself but also enhances your sense of connectedness to others, reducing feelings of isolation.
Studies have also shown that engaging in loving-kindness meditation can lead to reductions in anxiety and depression and overall improvements in mental health by fostering a more compassionate and open-hearted approach to life.
If you like the loving-kindness meditations and would like a longer guide meditation, you can click the link below for a 10-minute meditation.
5. Our Shared Human Experience
Spend two minutes reflecting on how imperfection and suffering are part of everyone's life. Remind yourself that you are not alone in your struggles and disappointments—everyone faces difficulties and makes mistakes. Often, it might feel like you're the only one because people don't talk openly about their challenges.
Questions to Consider
What are the most common emotions I've felt this week, and how might others be feeling the same?
When have I seen someone else experiencing something I've also gone through? How did that make me feel?
How might I feel less isolated by knowing that others also face challenges in life?
It’s important not to diminish your own experiences or feelings with thoughts like "someone has it worse". This isn't about dismissing your experiences but rather an exercise to see if understanding that others might have gone through something similar can help you feel less alone and help you identify sources of support.
6. Offer Yourself Compassion
In the final three minutes, think about a recent stressful or painful situation. Picture yourself in that situation and offer yourself words of compassion and understanding. You might say, "It's okay to feel this way," or "I'm here for you." Consider what you would say to a friend in the same situation, and direct those compassionate responses towards yourself. Watch if your mind tries to jump and tell you, ´Yeah but´ or ´You don´t deserve that´. Sometimes, we have an automatic critical voice that needs to be challenged; remember, not all thoughts are true!
7. Close with Gratitude
End your practice by appreciating one thing about yourself. It could be a trait, an
achievement, or simply the effort you're making to be more self-compassionate.
Integrating Self-Compassion into Daily Life
Fostering self-compassion deepens over time. By spending just 10 minutes a day on this practice, you can start to change how you relate to yourself, leading to increased resilience, happiness, and peace.
Why not try this practice for 30 days?
Remember, self-compassion is a journey, not a destination. Be patient and kind to yourself as you explore this path. As you become more accustomed to offering yourself compassion, you might find chances to extend this practice throughout your day. Whether it's forgiving yourself for a mistake, recognising your efforts, or simply taking a moment to breathe and offer yourself kindness amid stress, these acts of self-compassion can significantly affect your overall well-being.
Fostering self-compassion is a courageous act that allows us to accept our humanity, connect with others, and face the world with an open heart. May this 10-minute practice be a stepping stone towards a more compassionate, kind-hearted relationship with yourself.
Don´t forget that you can tag us on Instagram to let us know how you get on @my10minutes #TakingMy10
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